The Writer's Guilt
I’m feeling guilty. About a great many things. But for the sake of keeping things on topic, I'm mostly feeling guilty about neglect.
I've been neglecting this blog. I've barely posted anything since I started it in April, and over the past few months, I've barely thought about it at all.
Let's be honest here, it's not as if it takes a vast amount of time, energy or deep and engaging thought. It was never meant to be anything serious or intellectually stimulating - just a place where I can blab about films and books and writing and all that good stuff that sustains us. But for some reason of late, I've just tossed it aside.
And it's not as if I haven't been consuming enough pop culture to talk about, 'cause believe me, I've been consuming the hell out of films, TV and books recently. I’ve just not been writing about them.
Which brings me to the real source of my guilt. I've not been writing anything at all as of late. The very thing I've been neglecting - is the thing I supposedly do for a living.
"Well maybe if you got off your couch and stopped mainlining box-sets for a day or two, strapped yourself to your desk and sweated out some words, you might actually get some work done. Hmm?"
First of all, dear voice in my head, FUCK YOU! Second of all, you might have a point.
As much as I believe that the creative soul must be nourished, especially in periods of low productivity, I can’t ignore that a lethal cocktail of procrastination and good ole fashioned bone-idleness are ground zero for my guilt.
But there’s something else too. The very act of not writing has become habit. It has been weeks since I last looked at the script I'm writing. And it isn't as if the script has hit a wall, because it hasn't. I know exactly how to pick it up from where I left off. I know the exact bloody scene word for word. I just can't seem to sit down and do anything about it. I'm hoping that writing about my failure to write will kick-start my process again.
In the meantime there will be more blog posts coming soon. Writing shall beget more writing, so sayeth I.